


headspace

by justanothernobody



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, POV Second Person, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, but if you do like those then by all means go ahead and do so, except i don’t like x/reader fics so, ignore doyoung’s name and you could probs read this as jaehyun/reader, im just projecting all of my sad on jaehyun, im sorry jaehyun bby i’ll make it up to you i promise, using that pov again coz i aM OBSESSED
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:22:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22677106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanothernobody/pseuds/justanothernobody
Summary: when the world loses its vibrance, that means something is wrong — either with him or with everyone else.he finds that the problem always lies with him.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Kudos: 10





	headspace

**Author's Note:**

> school is making me feel a lot of emotions and i’ve always had this issue of not being able to sort them out, so this fic is just me projecting some of my feelings on jaehyun. good news is: i do feel better after writing this. also, written with billie eilish’s “everything i wanted” on loop as bgm. listen to that for double the feels.
> 
> enjoy!

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some days, everything feels different. 

jaehyun’s mentioned it to you once, a long time ago, in passing. the world quietens its jarring voice, dims down it’s flashing colours. it turns into a pastel picture, soft and hazy yet  _ off _ . 

it’s never meant to be like that. when the world loses its vibrance, that means something is wrong — either with him or with everyone else. 

_ the problem always lies with me _ , he said.

it’s the sheer fact that jaehyun has a lot of love in his heart. he’s a man of less words and more actions, physical declarations of love rather than sweet nothings whispered in each others’ ears. 

he’s overflowing with affection and rare sincerity. so when the world rejects even the tiniest bit of it, the glass that is his endless heart spills its contents. 

jaehyun doesn’t deserve it. he doesn’t deserve to feel like how he does on some days — miserable, lonely, numb. and if you could, you’d take all of his pain and pull it out of his system, and you’d burn all of that anguish into ash. 

but you can’t do that. despair isn’t an item that can be surgically removed. it’s like a drop of ink amidst crimson blood running in your veins. it bleeds into your heart, colours it black with grief. and sometimes, it is like dye — it permanently stays where it has stained.

_ the only way out ,  _ he said _ ,  is to carve that darkness out _ . except to do that, jaehyun isn’t sure he’d be able to come back in one piece.

he’s not sure he’d even come back at all. 

and tonight, you wish you can do more to help the boy in your arms. he’s holding onto you like a lifeline, clutching to your arm as if you’d disappear if he let go. the teardrops that leak from his beautiful eyes run down his cheeks. head tucked into the crook of your neck, his tears soak your shirt. 

_ oh, jaehyun-ah _ , you say ,  tone soft and laced in what you hope jaehyun would decipher as care.  _ you’ll be okay, dear, i’ll make sure of it. _

you place a soft kiss on top of his head, rub soothing circles across his back. when jaehyun tips his head up to look at you, you swipe a thumb across his cheeks to wipe away the tears. 

red-rimmed eyes look straight at you. you lean forward to place your lips on his. featherlight, delicate, gentle — just how jaehyun likes it. he leans into your touch, grips the wrist of your hand that is caressing his cheek. you whisper against his tear-stained lips.

jaehyun opens his mouth to say something. the words seem to be lodged in his throat as he struggles to form sentences. you hush him softly. pull him closer to you, let him stay quiet if he wants to. 

_ thank you, doyoung-hyung _ , jaehyun mumbles, on the brink of slumber. his body goes limp with exhaustion, sleep taking over him. gravity causes his body to lean on you, and the weight of him feels like a reassurance of sorts. his soft breath grazes your neck in gentle puffs. 

you tuck a stray piece of hair behind his ear. you murmur a promise against his temple —

_ i’ll keep you safe, jaehyunnie. i promise. _

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**Author's Note:**

> find me on twitter @thirstvxq


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